A Word from Laura: Faith and Uncertainty
The topic of the conversation was antiracism, but the talk turned to uncertainty, to the fears that come up when trying to make decisions in an uncertain time, when you don’t know what the future holds. This was a conversation when your leaders were sharing deeply and honestly; their words and feelings belong to them and therefore they get to share them as they feel led. But they named a larger, shared sentiment that seems to belong to everyone these days.
When faced with an uncertain future, leaders can be tempted to reassure people that everything is fine, to encourage others just to stay calm. And it’s true that in the end, when God’s creation is complete and the fullness of salvation is realized, everything will be as it is supposed to be. But in the meantime, anxiety is real for anyone paying attention to our realities, whether to the fall election cycle or to areas struggling in the face of fires and drought or to economic struggles or the spread of virus once school starts.
The challenge for all kinds of leaders – and it coincides with the gift of Christian faith – is to live in the uncertainty without giving in to anxiety.
We have a defining theme that runs through our stories, told throughout scripture and the lives of faithful communities, of God doing God’s best work in uncertain times and places, when all is lost and everyone is frustrated and no one can see past tomorrow. When we humans have to learn to trust in something more than our ability to provide for ourselves or the ways we have always done things and have to face our inadequacy. When we lose those most important to us and must face our grief.
Yes, painful emotions are part of each of these situations. Conflicts arise when one person’s pain scrapes another’s. The growth and transformation happen when leaders and communities can name those feelings before God and each other – whether Moses on the mountain on the wilderness or the Hebrew people crying out to God in the exile or Jesus himself naming his abandonment on the cross. Faithful leadership means owning our emotions and trusting that God works through them.
And it comes back to antiracist work. I’ve been blessed with teachers who remind me how feeling-phobic white dominant cultures can become. I’ve realized that I’ve learned to succeed in cultures and organizations that value the “best” idea, presented in the most rational format, using artful English and preferably quoting “good” thinkers. Please don’t misunderstand: antiracism is not about bad thinking. But when truth is defined only by thought, we fail to value honest feelings - and those who have them. We forget the truth of feeling joy or sadness. In terms of courageous faith, we close ourselves off to God’s power to transform.
Friends, there’s so much here for us as individuals and as a community of faith. The next time you feel anxious because you don’t know the future, I invite you to stop and name the feeling: sadness, fear, frustration, inadequacy, loss, grief. Spend a moment trying to feel it, to describe it, to name it. You may have been taught that this feeling is wrong, but it’s not. Your feeling is real. Your feeling, however unpleasant, is an opportunity to pause and ask what a God of love and justice wants you to know or feel or experience. Whatever comes, spend a moment with that message of divine truth for you and your community. You may only hear silence (think Job). You may not hear it on your own; that’s why we have a faith community.
As your pastor, I want to honor these feelings, however unpleasant. I want us to know how to share feelings as a community in ways that are healthy and transformative. I give thanks for all of you who are leading us through the uncertainty and for the faith growing in the process.
Towards faith, with joy and justice,
Laura